Relationship Goals: Part 3

The Myth of Dating

Watch the full sermon here!

Healthy Progression of Relationships:

  1. Singleness – the most important time of your life: Love God → learn to love yourself → love others. 
  2. Intentional Dating
  3. Engagement
  4. Marriage
  5. Love – until you can completely sacrifice for them – you can’t love.
  6. Reproduce/Children – out of love, not out of your dysfunction
  7. Repeat
  • We confuse passion/lust with love.
  • Never stop trying to perfect yourself and adding to the relationship. Don’t stop just because you’re with someone. 
  • Make time for each other and keep intentionally dating.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you [the priestly nation] have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you that you shall be no priest to Me; seeing you have forgotten the law of you God, I will also forget your children.”
Hosea 4:6

Myths of Dating


Myth 1: Dating is Biblical

Reality: Dating is not biblical

  • Dating and courtship are both manmade

Myth 2: Dating is Wrong

Reality: Dating is not wrong… if God is in the middle

  • When you put God in the middle of something, everything changes because everything surrounds God – we don’t ask God to surround it. 
  • Whatever you do, you need to put God in the middle. 
  • A date is an event, not a commitment.
  • Afterwards, assess it:
    • Make sure they line up with your purpose. 
    • Don’t let someone under-qualified get the second “interview”. 

“So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31

  • Ask yourself: 
    • “Is who I’m dating bringing glory to God?”
      • Who you’re talking to should be living their life to glorify God. 
    • “Is how we’re dating bringing God glory?”
      • If someone saw texts/ways you act in the relationship, would it mess up their view of your relationship with God?

Myth 3: Dating is a Destination

Reality: Dating is not a destination

  • Dating is supposed to take us to the next level (marriage). 
    • Don’t get stuck at just dating.
    • It’s supposed to be transportation to where you really want to go.
  • You have too much purpose in you to be in a relationship with no aim. 
  • Be focused on intentional dating.
    • If you can’t see yourself being led/connected/married, you don’t need to be in the relationship. 
  • Women cannot be the ones to cultivate men – men were created to cultivate women. 

Myth 4: Dating is Harmless

Reality: Dating can be devastating (if it’s done in the wrong timing and without God)

“There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death.”
Proverbs 14:12

  • There can be a death in purpose because you opened your heart/got with the wrong person. 
  • Who you align yourself with and let in your heart will begin to guide what you do in your life. 

33Do no be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. 34 Awake [from your drunken stupor and return] to sober sense and your right minds, and sin no more. For some of you have not the knowledge of God [you are utterly and willfully and disgracefully ignorant, and continue to be so, lacking the sense of God’s presence and all true knowledge of Him]. I say this to your shame.”
1 Corinthians 15:33-34

  • Stop sinning and think about what is right. Pray about it
  • If you’re with someone who isn’t pushing you towards purpose, you need to get out of the relationship. 

13[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. 14Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [against God] and questioning and doubting [among yourselves]. 15That you may show yourselves to be blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated, children of God without blemish (faultless, unrebukable) in the midst of a crooked and wicked generation [spiritually perverted and perverse], among whom you are seen as bright lights (stars or beacons shining out clearly) in the [dark] world.”
Phillipians 2:13-15

  • When you let God in your relationship, you want your relationship to shine.

Boundaries are Biblical


“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.”
Proverbs 4:23

  • Have a relationship with God and He will teach you how to love someone else. 

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